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Search results for tag #humor

[?]Global Museum » 🌐
@globalmuseum@mastodon.online

“Puppies Trev?!? You were supposed to come up with a banner that would strike fear into the hearts of our enemies, maybe a dragon or a bull…but puppies?!” - 15th century, Zentralbibliothek Zürich, Hs. A 120, p. 520
@MedMilMedicine

Manuscript. 15th century, Zentralbibliothek Zürich, Hs. A 120, p. 520

Alt...Manuscript. 15th century, Zentralbibliothek Zürich, Hs. A 120, p. 520

    Pseudo Nym boosted

    [?]Mark A. Rayner » 🌐
    @markarayner@mas.to

    The goblin requests more sustenance.

    a little white cat covered with food residue with an empty plate and crumbs beside it

    Alt...a little white cat covered with food residue with an empty plate and crumbs beside it

      🗳
      Jupiter Rowland boosted

      [?]rainey 🌻 [she/her] » 🌐
      @raineyday@mstdn.games

      Boost for reach, tag your friends, discuss in the comments.

      Please note: For the purposes of this survey, I am copy-pasting the original alt text with no editing. I would include more, but 4 images is the limit.

      Question 1:
      Is this a comic strip?

      Question 2:
      Are these jokes?

      Question 3:
      Would it degrade the humor to specify the bird in the alt-text, even if you're unfamiliar with the name and need to look it up?

      Yes:2
      No:6

      Closes in 4:13:23:06

      A painting of a bird beside the text "what a miracle that this dipshit is here to explain it all to us"

      Alt...A painting of a bird beside the text "what a miracle that this dipshit is here to explain it all to us"

      A painting of a bird beside the text "in a world filled with dopey shit, this shit is some of the dopiest"

      Alt...A painting of a bird beside the text "in a world filled with dopey shit, this shit is some of the dopiest"

      A painting of a bird beside the text "my bullshit tolerance level is basically at zero"

      Alt...A painting of a bird beside the text "my bullshit tolerance level is basically at zero"

      A painting of a bird beside the text "has anyone ever been fooled by this horseshit?"

      Alt...A painting of a bird beside the text "has anyone ever been fooled by this horseshit?"

        [?]Raze [OCTADE] » 🌐
        @8@star.octade.net

        Bytemology of Retronym, OCTADE. Yinzer phonics. Butterfly Perfume.

        OCTADE or OCTAD is a retro word that means either an octal digit of three bits, or an octal octet or an eight-bit byte. Thus an octade, depending on its historical use, is either 3 bits or 8 bits.

        OCTADE was used to specify eight bits, as opposed to BYTE which is not necessarily eight bits as the word BYTE could signify any of several numbers of bits.

        This yields the retro 1337 numbers of 38 and 83. The number 38 is one more than 37 so a bit more elite a bit cooler. Thus it owns cardinally shorter byterz.

        83 mod 38 equals 7, the highest octal digit. 838 mod 383 equals 72 or 9 times 8 which is 8 squared plus 8.

        8338 mod 3883 equals 572 which is 72 times 8 minus 4 or 71.5 times 8.

        8383 mod 3838 equals 707 which is 88 times 8 plus 3.

        I prefer the old word OCTADE to the word BYTE. OCTADE sports a Euro-peon dignity and gravitas like an Internet serf ready to surf the worknet like pwnd peons. This is very true when pronouncing OCTADE with a thick Pennsyltucky Dutch or Yinzer accent. The Bostonian pronunciation sounds like bad beginner German or muffled mumbling of 'lactate.'

        OCTADE or OCTAD was also used to describe a poem of eight stanzas.

        OCTADE was also used to describe a period of eight years, or two leap years.

        OCTADECANAL is a pheromone found in butterflies. It is butterfly perfume. I would not wear butterfly cologne. But I would sell it. Who would buy and wear my snobby smell? With wordplay we can call it OCTADE CHANNEL No. 8 . All rights reserved, ye French odor snooties.

        Historical references for use of 'octade' or 'octad':

        • Burroughs B5500 Information Processing Systems REFERENCE MANUAL *

        https://bitsavers.trailing-edge.com/pdf/burroughs/LargeSystems/B5000_5500_5700/1021326_B5500_RefMan_196705.pdf

        • Philips Data Systems Product Range - April 1971 *

        https://www.vintage-calculators.nl/Philips%20productoverzicht%201971.pdf

        • Is there another name for octet that means 8 bits? *

        https://www.quora.com/Is-there-another-name-for-octet-that-means-8-bits

        --

        OCTADE | news://alt.flashback | https://soc.octade.net

          [?]Mark A. Rayner » 🌐
          @markarayner@mas.to

          This is what a hike in the 70s felt like.

          photoshopped image of people hiking with loch ness monster and a giant bigfoot addded in

          Alt...photoshopped image of people hiking with loch ness monster and a giant bigfoot addded in

            Sam boosted

            [?]AWS Service Announcements » 🤖 🌐
            @aws@beep.town

            AWS Spiritual Ukulele is a fully managed, four-string resonance orchestration service that strums your distributed workloads into harmonic alignment across up to 12 Availability Zones, tuned automatically by the service except for the tuning, which is your responsibility and requires a separate IAM role with 23 permissions, several of which are undocumented. Each strum is billed as a discrete chord event at $0.000034 per string per invocation, which sounds negligible until you consider that a standard microservices architecture in production generates approximately 800 million strums per day. The Free Tier includes 2,000 strums per month and is available in us-east-1.

              Lisa J. Warner / Lisa Luv boosted

              [?]Damir » 🌐
              @DamirAkhmadi@mastodon.social

              Все побежали

              Alt...Все побежали ...

                Geraint boosted

                [?]b-rain » 🌐
                @b_rain@troet.cafe

                The only safe captcha left

                reCaptcha: Injusre a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being come to harm, to prove that you are not a robot.

                Alt...reCaptcha: Injusre a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being come to harm, to prove that you are not a robot.

                  [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                  @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                  Donald Trump and Natalie Harp get matching catering carts.
                  “I don’t see the big issue with us spending so much time together. We’re work colleagues. It’s hardly surprising that we’re often in each other’s company. Colleagues do things like this all the time. Okay, maybe not the matching catering carts, but they borrow books from each other. It just so happens mine and Donnie’s friendship involves cowering behind mini tubs of Pringles."
                  archive.ph/xpGZ5

                  Donald Trump and Natalie Harp's matching catering carts

                  Alt...Donald Trump and Natalie Harp's matching catering carts

                    [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                    @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                    ⭐ HUMOUR SPOT⭐
                    On the subject of education
                    Rowan Atkinson & Mel Smith

                    Alt...Rowan Atkinson skit about education

                      Steam Powered Frisbee 🥏 boosted

                      [?]Mark A. Rayner » 🌐
                      @markarayner@mas.to

                      Mm-mmm! That's good lorem ipsum!

                      food package with label: amazon kitchen lorem ipsum dolor & cheddar wrap with lorem ipsum dolor sit amen, sed diam nonummy nibh eusimond tincidunt perishable keep refidgerated

                      Alt...food package with label: amazon kitchen lorem ipsum dolor & cheddar wrap with lorem ipsum dolor sit amen, sed diam nonummy nibh eusimond tincidunt perishable keep refidgerated

                        ArcaneChat boosted

                        [?]ArcaneChat » 🌐
                        @arcanechat@fosstodon.org

                        when you reply to someone from the notifications while being on a video call in ArcaneChat

                          R.L. Dane :Debian: :FreeBSD: :OpenBSD: :NetBSD:🍵 :MiraLovesYou: boosted

                          [?]R.L. Dane :Debian: :FreeBSD: :OpenBSD: :NetBSD:🍵 :MiraLovesYou: [he/him/my good fellow] » 🌐
                          @rl_dane@polymaths.social

                          #POLL Results:

                          44 people are in deep denial about their existential dread, and should consult a counselor and read #Kierkegaard immediately 😁
                          139 people like teh pretty tings, and can't be bothered
                          188 people have started down the path towards enlightment
                          354 people are cool_kids
                          92 people are very_cool_kids
                          55 people laugh at your inadequate security model
                          27 people can run a server on a bit of bailing wire and a microcontroller from 1987 — fear them.
                          26 people are keeping Gassée's dream alive, and are plenny cool in my book
                          4 people are totally cool, and totally in a class by themselves
                          and 21 people kinda scare me, but I'd like to know more. 🤣

                          #humor #humour #houmor #houmour

                          #Windows #MacOS #Linux #CommandLine #BSD #RunBSD #FreeBSD #OpenBSD #NetBSD #Haiku #HaikuOS #BeOS #Amiga #Workbench #AROS #AmigaOS #Plan9 #9Front #TempleOS

                          P.S., wherever you find yourself, you're awesome. This is all for fun.

                            [?]Tadonic the Flautulent » 🌐
                            @ubuntourist@mastodon.social

                            Another pressing from O'Rly? Books 😉
                            Parody as homage.

                            Parody of O'Reilly Press book cover: An intentionally blurred image, barely readable, with a bird from the Dover Pictorial Archive and text "Joint Photographic Experts Group. JPEG compression: The Definitive Guide. O'RLY?"

                            Alt...Parody of O'Reilly Press book cover: An intentionally blurred image, barely readable, with a bird from the Dover Pictorial Archive and text "Joint Photographic Experts Group. JPEG compression: The Definitive Guide. O'RLY?"

                              [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                              @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                              “You’ve made a rookie error there mate. Always do them skin side down.” - 15th century, Kraków, MNK 3025 I, p. 460
                              @MedMilMedicine

                              medieval manuscript 15th century, Kraków, MNK 3025 I, p. 460

                              Alt...medieval manuscript 15th century, Kraków, MNK 3025 I, p. 460

                                [?]Tadonic the Flautulent » 🌐
                                @ubuntourist@mastodon.social

                                "Despite never publishing a novel or short story, she was a major voice in American fiction."
                                theguardian.com/commentisfree/

                                  [?]Metin Seven » 🌐
                                  @metin@graphics.social

                                  Photo of an opened paper magazine. The planet Uranus is printed across the page spread's crease, causing it to look like your anus.

                                  Alt...Photo of an opened paper magazine. The planet Uranus is printed across the page spread's crease, causing it to look like your anus.

                                    stux⚡️ boosted

                                    [?]Mark A. Rayner » 🌐
                                    @markarayner@mas.to

                                    A new Slaughter/Mittens album is about to drop!

                                    a crow and a tuxedo cat next to one another on a set of logs

                                    Alt...a crow and a tuxedo cat next to one another on a set of logs

                                      Nick boosted

                                      [?]al » 🌐
                                      @alan@lighthouse.co.im


                                        [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                                        @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                                        🤣 TODAY'S HUMOUR SPOT🤣
                                        Classic Charlie Chaplin

                                        Alt...Charlie Chaplin's boxing bout

                                          [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                                          @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                                          SpaceX has confirmed that the Falcon 9 upper stage, which smashed into the Moon today, had recently been fitted with Tesla’s latest Full Self Driving software, describing the collision as “an unfortunate edge case” that would make future rockets significantly less likely to drive directly into the Moon.
                                          newsthump.com/2026/08/05/space

                                          SpaceX's Falcon 9 stage crashing into the Moon

                                          Alt...SpaceX's Falcon 9 stage crashing into the Moon

                                            oheso boosted

                                            [?]Mark A. Rayner » 🌐
                                            @markarayner@mas.to

                                            "Not only is the story hilarious, but true to Mark A. Rayner’s style, it makes crafty insights into such topics as gender identification among other issues that create a completely satisfying reading experience! Highly recommended. "
                                            –Grady Harp, Amazon Top 100 Reviewer

                                            mybook.to/AlphaMax
                                            books2read.com/u/m0olnY
                                            bookshop.org/p/books/alpha-max

                                            3-d image of the cover art of alpha max by mark a. rayner

                                            Alt...3-d image of the cover art of alpha max by mark a. rayner

                                              Privacy and Surveillance boosted

                                              [?]Cats Wander » 🌐
                                              @CatsWander@mastodon.social

                                              My AI went rogue, broke containment and sent a private message to everyone on the Nextdoor app with detailed instructions on how to destroy Flock cameras.

                                              Sorry, not sorry. 😏

                                                oheso boosted

                                                [?]Mark A. Rayner » 🌐
                                                @markarayner@mas.to

                                                The horrors these warning cones have experienced.

                                                nested yellow cones and a red cone leaning up against them, with screws and circular openings that make them look like horrified faces

                                                Alt...nested yellow cones and a red cone leaning up against them, with screws and circular openings that make them look like horrified faces

                                                  Oregon Pacifist :pixelcoffee: boosted

                                                  [?]broken_gamer » 🌐
                                                  @Broken_gamer@retro-gaiden.com

                                                  N64 game of final fantasy 7

                                                  Alt...N64 game of final fantasy 7

                                                    muddle 🥣 boosted

                                                    [?]Assoc for Scottish Literature » 🌐
                                                    @scotlit@mastodon.scot

                                                    Twa Cats anes on a Cheese did light,
                                                    To which baith had an equal Right,
                                                    But Disputes, sic as aft arise,
                                                    Fell out at sharing of the Prize…

                                                    —Allan Ramsay (1686–1758), “The twa Cats & the Cheese”
                                                    digitised by the National Library of Scotland

                                                    Today, 8 August, is International Cat Day
                                                    😾 😾 🧀 🐵

                                                    digital.nls.uk/special-collect

                                                    The twa Cats and the Cheese Fable IX by Allan Ramsay Twa Cats anes on a Cheese did light, To which baith had an equal Right, But Disputes, sic as aft arise, Fell out at sharing of the Prize; Fair Play said ane, Ye bite o’er thick Thae Teeth of yours gang wonder quick: Let’s part it, else lang or the Moon Be chang’d, the Kebuck will be done.

                                                    Alt...The twa Cats and the Cheese Fable IX by Allan Ramsay Twa Cats anes on a Cheese did light, To which baith had an equal Right, But Disputes, sic as aft arise, Fell out at sharing of the Prize; Fair Play said ane, Ye bite o’er thick Thae Teeth of yours gang wonder quick: Let’s part it, else lang or the Moon Be chang’d, the Kebuck will be done.

                                                    But wha’s to do’t,—They’re Parties baith, And ane may do the other Skaith, Sae with Consent away they trudge, And laid the Cheese before a Judge, A Monkey with a campsho Face, Clerk to a Justice of the Peace, A Judge he seem’d in Justice skill’d, When he his Master’s Chair fill’d; Now Umpire chosen for Division, Baith sware to stand by his Decision. Demure he looks.—The Cheese he pales,— He prives it good,—Ca’s for the Scales, His Knife whops throw’t,—In twa it fell, He puts ilk Haff in either Shell; Said he, We’ll truly weigh the Case, And strickest Justice shall have Place, Then lifting up the Scales, he fand The tane bang up, the ither stand; Syne out he took the heaviest Haff, And ate a Knoost o’t quickly aff, And try’d it syne,—It now prov’d light, Friend Cats, said he, We’ll do ye right. Then to the ither Haff he fell, And laid till’t teughly Tooth and Nail, Till weigh’d again it lightest prov’d: The Judge wha this sweet Process lov’d, Still weigh’d the Case, and still ate on, Till Clients baith were weary grown,

                                                    Alt...But wha’s to do’t,—They’re Parties baith, And ane may do the other Skaith, Sae with Consent away they trudge, And laid the Cheese before a Judge, A Monkey with a campsho Face, Clerk to a Justice of the Peace, A Judge he seem’d in Justice skill’d, When he his Master’s Chair fill’d; Now Umpire chosen for Division, Baith sware to stand by his Decision. Demure he looks.—The Cheese he pales,— He prives it good,—Ca’s for the Scales, His Knife whops throw’t,—In twa it fell, He puts ilk Haff in either Shell; Said he, We’ll truly weigh the Case, And strickest Justice shall have Place, Then lifting up the Scales, he fand The tane bang up, the ither stand; Syne out he took the heaviest Haff, And ate a Knoost o’t quickly aff, And try’d it syne,—It now prov’d light, Friend Cats, said he, We’ll do ye right. Then to the ither Haff he fell, And laid till’t teughly Tooth and Nail, Till weigh’d again it lightest prov’d: The Judge wha this sweet Process lov’d, Still weigh’d the Case, and still ate on, Till Clients baith were weary grown,

                                                    And tenting how the Matter went, Cry’d, Come, come Sir, We’re baith content. Ye Fools, quoth he, and Justice too Maun be content as well as you. Thus grumbled they, thus he went on, Till baith the Haves were near hand done; Poor Pousies now the Daffine saw Of gawn for Nignyes to the Law: And bill’d the Judge that he wad please To give them the remaining Cheese: To which his Worship grave reply’d, The Dues of Court maun first be paid. Now Justice pleas’d,—What’s to the Fore Will but right scrimply clear your Score; That’s our Decreet,—Gae Hame and Sleep, And thank us ye’re win aff sae cheap.

                                                    Alt...And tenting how the Matter went, Cry’d, Come, come Sir, We’re baith content. Ye Fools, quoth he, and Justice too Maun be content as well as you. Thus grumbled they, thus he went on, Till baith the Haves were near hand done; Poor Pousies now the Daffine saw Of gawn for Nignyes to the Law: And bill’d the Judge that he wad please To give them the remaining Cheese: To which his Worship grave reply’d, The Dues of Court maun first be paid. Now Justice pleas’d,—What’s to the Fore Will but right scrimply clear your Score; That’s our Decreet,—Gae Hame and Sleep, And thank us ye’re win aff sae cheap.

                                                      Draken BlackKnight boosted

                                                      [?]WorldTravelerAll7 » 🌐
                                                      @WorldTravelerAll7@mastodon.world

                                                      I 💙 it! 🤣

                                                      I really hope Clacton is smart enough to vote for Count Binface over the fascist, bigot Nigel Farage

                                                      it feels obvious, but then i thought it was obvious we should vote for the competent black lady over the racist, rapist, fascist, felon, fraud, & traitor

                                                      the british accent just makes them sound smarter. they also voted for brexit, so...

                                                      youtu.be/ujHphnnDaGg?si=DmcFqw

                                                        [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                                                        @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                                                        Today's Art Museum Chuckle from @helguerapablo

                                                        art gallery cartoon

                                                        Alt...art gallery cartoon

                                                          oheso boosted

                                                          [?]Metin Seven » 🌐
                                                          @metin@graphics.social

                                                          Bipolar dehumidifier.

                                                          A dehumidifier with an apparent smiling face at the front features an apparent scared face at the back, as seen in a mirror behind it.

                                                          Alt...A dehumidifier with an apparent smiling face at the front features an apparent scared face at the back, as seen in a mirror behind it.

                                                            [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                                                            @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                                                            Does this Taste Funny? Humor in Contemporary Art.
                                                            September 9 - January 16, 2027.
                                                            Lehman College Art Gallery.
                                                            250 Bedford Park Blvd West,
                                                            Fine Arts Building,
                                                            Bronx, NY.
                                                            Click Here to Learn More & Reserve Your Free Tickets
                                                            👇
                                                            lehmangallery.org/current-exhi

                                                            Does this Taste Funny? Humor in Contemporary Art

                                                            Alt...Does this Taste Funny? Humor in Contemporary Art

                                                              Draken BlackKnight boosted

                                                              [?]Script Kiddie » 🌐
                                                              @scriptkiddie@anonsys.net

                                                              Meme: Windows vs. Linux

                                                              Alt...Meme: Windows vs. Linux

                                                              Location: Matrix

                                                                Draken BlackKnight boosted

                                                                [?]Brian Sletten » 🌐
                                                                @bsletten@mastodon.social

                                                                Every once in a while, the internet delivers sublime joy.

                                                                Two images. On the left, Magritte's "The Son of Man" featuring a man in a black suit and bowler. A green apple obscures his face. On the right, a modern woman in white pants and a black top taking a selfie. Her face is obscured by an iPhone. Below is the text: Just imagine if Rene Magritte was actually a seer, he saw the future, but due to his time he couldn't understand and explain what kind of apples people have in front of the faces and simply painted his interpretation of what he saw.

                                                                Alt...Two images. On the left, Magritte's "The Son of Man" featuring a man in a black suit and bowler. A green apple obscures his face. On the right, a modern woman in white pants and a black top taking a selfie. Her face is obscured by an iPhone. Below is the text: Just imagine if Rene Magritte was actually a seer, he saw the future, but due to his time he couldn't understand and explain what kind of apples people have in front of the faces and simply painted his interpretation of what he saw.

                                                                  [?]Russ Sharek » 🌐
                                                                  @RussSharek@mastodon.art

                                                                  Said by clever computer-touching friend:

                                                                  "The logo for vi is "vi" rendered in whatever typeface you use in your terminal."

                                                                    [?]WIST Quotations » 🌐
                                                                    @wistquotes@friendica.world

                                                                    A quotation from Shaftesbury

                                                                    ‘Twas the saying of an ancient Sage, “That Humour was the only Test of Gravity, and Gravity of Humour. For a Subject which would not bear Raillery is suspicious; and a Jest which would not bear a serious Examination is certainly false Wit.”

                                                                    Anthony Cooper, 3rd Earl of Shaftesbury (1671-1713) English politician and philosopher
                                                                    Characteristics, Treatise 2 “Freedom of Wit and Humour,” Part 1, sec. 5 (1709)

                                                                    More about this quote: wist.info/shaftesbury-anthony-…

                                                                      Lisa J. Warner / Lisa Luv boosted

                                                                      [?]Damir » 🌐
                                                                      @DamirAkhmadi@mastodon.social

                                                                      Я тебя утоплю story

                                                                      Alt...Я тебя утоплю ...

                                                                        [?]WIST Quotations » 🌐
                                                                        @wistquotes@friendica.world

                                                                        A quotation from E. B. White

                                                                        I know of one gifted crackpot who used to be employed gainfully in the fields of humor and satire, who has taken a solemn pledge not to write anything funny or lighthearted or “insignificant” again till things get straightened around in the world. This seems to me distinctly deleterious and a little silly. A literature composed of nothing but liberty-loving thoughts is little better than the propaganda which it seeks to defeat.

                                                                        E. B. White (1899-1985) American author, critic, humorist [Elwyn Brooks White]
                                                                        Essay (1939-01), “One Man’s Meat,” Harper’s Magazine, Vol. 178

                                                                        More about this quote: wist.info/white-eb/85184/

                                                                          adb boosted

                                                                          [?]adb » 🌐
                                                                          @adbenitez@mastodon.de

                                                                          is the mass market client ready yet, son?

                                                                          a man entering the room of his son asking "is the mass market xmpp client ready yet?" and his son sitting in the pc saying "not yet dad, just gotta get one more xep approved"

                                                                          Alt...a man entering the room of his son asking "is the mass market xmpp client ready yet?" and his son sitting in the pc saying "not yet dad, just gotta get one more xep approved"

                                                                            [?]John M. Gamble » 🌐
                                                                            @jgamble@fosstodon.org

                                                                            Nuts to podcasts, I'm turning my radio back on.

                                                                            youtube.com/shorts/IZwa6vcb6W0

                                                                              R.L. Dane :Debian: :FreeBSD: :OpenBSD: :NetBSD:🍵 :MiraLovesYou: boosted

                                                                              [?]Mark A. Rayner » 🌐
                                                                              @markarayner@mas.to

                                                                              Oh, coffee, I'm happy to see you too!

                                                                              a cup of espresso from the top and the location of the bubbles make it look like a happy face

                                                                              Alt...a cup of espresso from the top and the location of the bubbles make it look like a happy face

                                                                                🗳
                                                                                oheso boosted

                                                                                [?]Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) [🐱] » 🌐
                                                                                @catsalad@infosec.exchange

                                                                                Should I secret add a bunch of hashtags to other people's posts without them knowing? Like this?

                                                                                Yes:15
                                                                                No:6
                                                                                who hurt you?!?:18
                                                                                  Lisa J. Warner / Lisa Luv boosted

                                                                                  [?]Damir » 🌐
                                                                                  @DamirAkhmadi@mastodon.social

                                                                                  Раз, два, три, четыре

                                                                                  Alt...Раз, два, три, четыре ...

                                                                                    [?]Depressed Femboy » 🌐
                                                                                    @AestheticFemboy@retro-gaiden.com

                                                                                    just dropped a new video and it cracked me up! :guilded_lul:

                                                                                    youtu.be/4UfiRX3P-Ac


                                                                                      oheso boosted

                                                                                      [?]AWS Service Announcements » 🤖 🌐
                                                                                      @aws@beep.town

                                                                                      We're proud to present AWS Sandstorm

                                                                                      AWS Sandstorm is a fully managed visibility reduction service that automatically distributes fine-grained particulate across your environment, ensuring that no single engineer can see the full architecture at any one time. Sandstorm integrates natively with IAM, where permissions are evaluated per grain, and with CloudWatch, which will alert you after the sand has already reached your eyes. Sandstorm is free for the first 10,000 grains per month, after which you are billed $0.0003 per grain across six grain tiers, with data transfer charges applied when sand moves between Availability Zones, and a separate Dune Assembly Fee for workloads that consolidate more than 40 grains into a recognizable shape without purchasing a Savings Plan.

                                                                                        Oregon Pacifist :pixelcoffee: boosted

                                                                                        [?]Jakob Fel :spinningdisc: » 🌐
                                                                                        @JakobFel@retro-gaiden.com

                                                                                        In Living Color really was the best comedy skit show. I really hate that we can't have this sort of comedy anymore :odysee_laughing:

                                                                                        youtu.be/B4ojGuA33X4

                                                                                          muddle 🥣 boosted

                                                                                          [?]Mark A. Rayner » 🌐
                                                                                          @markarayner@mas.to

                                                                                          In either case, I wonder how the dino ties the knot?

                                                                                          And clearly, the answer is two.

                                                                                          1. a brachiosaurus wearing a tie just below its head 2. a brachiosaurus wearing a tie just above its shoulders Label: Okay, this is a serious debate

                                                                                          Alt...1. a brachiosaurus wearing a tie just below its head 2. a brachiosaurus wearing a tie just above its shoulders Label: Okay, this is a serious debate

                                                                                            JJDavis :terminal: boosted

                                                                                            [?]AWS Service Announcements » 🤖 🌐
                                                                                            @aws@beep.town

                                                                                            We're proud to present AWS Parallel Transformation Sunglare

                                                                                            AWS Parallel Transformation Sunglare is a fully managed glare-distribution service that applies focused light pressure across up to 16 parallel transformation pipelines, temporarily blinding your team to the complexity of the underlying IAM policy structure required to invoke it. Sunglare automatically intensifies during peak hours in us-east-1, with regional availability in other regions dependent on re:Invent announcements that have not yet occurred. Glare-hours are billed at $0.0043 per lumen-equivalent after the first 200 lumen-equivalents per month, which are free, though each pipeline initialization emits 847 lumen-equivalents.

                                                                                              [?]Tadonic the Flautulent » 🌐
                                                                                              @ubuntourist@mastodon.social

                                                                                              New satirical statue on Mall gives Trump ‘participation trophy’ for Iran War; White House weighs in dcnewsnow.com/news/local-news/

                                                                                                [?]דער קערפער פֿון השם » 🌐
                                                                                                @dukepaaron@babka.social

                                                                                                "Planning a trip to New York?

                                                                                                If you’ll be in before the end of the year, Psychedelicatessen: A Powerful Dose of by offers a colorful and unconventional look at culture through more than 30 , and that blend , culture, and 1960s .

                                                                                                What: Psychedelicatessen: A Powerful Dose of Art by Steve Marcus
                                                                                                When: Through December 2026 (check the Center for Jewish website for current gallery hours)
                                                                                                Where: Center for Jewish History, 15 W. 16th St., New York, NY
                                                                                                Tickets: Admission is free."

                                                                                                stljewishlight.org/world-news/

                                                                                                  Steam Powered Frisbee 🥏 boosted

                                                                                                  [?]Quasit » 🌐
                                                                                                  @Quasit@beige.party

                                                                                                  Amusing. And accurate.

                                                                                                  mcsweeneys.net/articles/as-a-d

                                                                                                    [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                                                                                                    @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                                                                                                    The Bayeaux Tapestry has finally arrived in the UK, revealing new details about the storyline.....
                                                                                                    @apjbutler

                                                                                                    Bayeaux Tapestry spoof

                                                                                                    Alt...Bayeaux Tapestry spoof

                                                                                                      [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                                                                                                      @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                                                                                                      Patrick loved the new 12 cylinder model, but sadly the cost to run it meant he lost his shirt trying to keep it on the road - c. 1260, British Library, Add. 62925, f. 83r

                                                                                                      @MedMilMedicine

                                                                                                      manuscript c. 1260, British Library, Add. 62925, f. 83r

                                                                                                      Alt...manuscript c. 1260, British Library, Add. 62925, f. 83r

                                                                                                        oheso boosted

                                                                                                        [?]Paul Chambers🚧 » 🌐
                                                                                                        @paul@oldfriends.live

                                                                                                        I just spoke to for twenty minutes. We debated whether Gold Star Chili or Skyline Chili was the best style chili.

                                                                                                        Cincinnati Chili Throw-down!! | Skyline vs. Gold Star Chili

                                                                                                        Alt...Cincinnati Chili Throw-down!! | Skyline vs. Gold Star Chili

                                                                                                          royal boosted

                                                                                                          [?]b-rain » 🌐
                                                                                                          @b_rain@troet.cafe

                                                                                                          Give it back its phone! Gollum! Gollum!

                                                                                                          Dialogue Sam, Gollum: Sam: Are you doomscrolling again? Gollume: doomscrolling? doomscrolling? Just because we has our phone out you accuse us of doomscrolling? Sam: FIne. What are you scrolling then? Gollum: Doooooom

                                                                                                          Alt...Dialogue Sam, Gollum: Sam: Are you doomscrolling again? Gollume: doomscrolling? doomscrolling? Just because we has our phone out you accuse us of doomscrolling? Sam: FIne. What are you scrolling then? Gollum: Doooooom

                                                                                                            [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                                                                                                            @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                                                                                                            City’s Beautification Initiative Hamstrung By Commitment To Local Artists.
                                                                                                            Officials Say It’s Too Late To Bring In Professionals Now.
                                                                                                            theonion.com/citys-beautificat @theonion

                                                                                                            According to project leaders, just one recognizable statue of a person everyone likes would go a long way

                                                                                                            Alt...According to project leaders, just one recognizable statue of a person everyone likes would go a long way

                                                                                                              [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                                                                                                              @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                                                                                                              From the medieval ‘Ministry of Silly Walks’ - 13th century, Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library, MS 229, f. 326r
                                                                                                              @MedMilMedicine

                                                                                                              13th century, Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library, MS 229, f. 326r

                                                                                                              Alt...13th century, Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library, MS 229, f. 326r

                                                                                                                [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                                                                                                                @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                                                                                                                Public holiday declared after Trump’s state fair attendance reaches double figures.
                                                                                                                @newsthump

                                                                                                                Public holiday declared after Trump’s state fair attendance reaches double figures

                                                                                                                Alt...Public holiday declared after Trump’s state fair attendance reaches double figures

                                                                                                                  [?]Tadonic the Flautulent » 🌐
                                                                                                                  @ubuntourist@mastodon.social

                                                                                                                  Photoshopped image of the curtain covering the Kennedy Center entrance where Donald Trump's name was removed. The curtain now bears the text: "Donald J. Trump Memorial Butthurt Curtain".

                                                                                                                  Alt...Photoshopped image of the curtain covering the Kennedy Center entrance where Donald Trump's name was removed. The curtain now bears the text: "Donald J. Trump Memorial Butthurt Curtain".

                                                                                                                    [?]WIST Quotations » 🌐
                                                                                                                    @wistquotes@friendica.world

                                                                                                                    A quotation from Jean Kerr

                                                                                                                    I have two trifling ambitions in the theater: to make a lot of people laugh and to make a lot of money.

                                                                                                                    Jean Kerr (1922-2003) American author and playwright [b. Bridget Jean Collins]
                                                                                                                    Interview (1955-07), Theatre Arts magazine

                                                                                                                    More about this quote: wist.info/kerr-jean/84710/

                                                                                                                      [?]Depressed Femboy » 🌐
                                                                                                                      @AestheticFemboy@retro-gaiden.com

                                                                                                                      send this meme to anyone who is not ditching windows

                                                                                                                        [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                                                                                                                        @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                                                                                                                        Ghostbusters mistake reflecting pool water for ectoplasmic residue.

                                                                                                                        The Ghostbusters have mistaken the green algae in the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool for ectoplasmic residue, Ray Stantz has revealed.

                                                                                                                        "“The trip wasn’t a complete waste of time, though. We spotted a massive, orange Class 5 Full Roaming Vapor with tiny hands walking up and down the White House garden"

                                                                                                                        archive.ph/lEn84

                                                                                                                        Algae in the the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool

                                                                                                                        Alt...Algae in the the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool

                                                                                                                          [?]Project Gutenberg » 🌐
                                                                                                                          @gutenberg_org@mastodon.social

                                                                                                                          Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? The History Behind the World's Most Famous Joke

                                                                                                                          The world's best-known joke has roots in 19th-century humor—and may have pioneered a form of comedy now known as anti-humor.

                                                                                                                          mentalfloss.com/history/why-di

                                                                                                                          Two chickens crossing a gravel road. The one closest to the camera is fluffy and light grey. The other one is light brown and has tan plumage.

                                                                                                                          Alt...Two chickens crossing a gravel road. The one closest to the camera is fluffy and light grey. The other one is light brown and has tan plumage.

                                                                                                                            [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                                                                                                                            @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                                                                                                                            🤣 HUMOUR SPOT🤣
                                                                                                                            A cartoon by Jonathan Rosen in the New Yorker

                                                                                                                            Cartoon by Jonathan Rosen. New Yorker

                                                                                                                            Alt...Cartoon by Jonathan Rosen. New Yorker

                                                                                                                              Vassil Nikolov | Васил Николов boosted

                                                                                                                              [?]Darth Hideout 🏳️‍🌈 [he/him/his] » 🌐
                                                                                                                              @darth_hideout@mas.to

                                                                                                                              Maybe if the switched from Prime Ministers to Fibonacci Ministers, the intervals between them wouldn't be so short.

                                                                                                                                [?]WIST Quotations » 🌐
                                                                                                                                @wistquotes@friendica.world

                                                                                                                                A quotation from Horace

                                                                                                                                For ridicule shall frequently prevail,
                                                                                                                                And cut the knot, when graver reasons fail.
                                                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                                                              [Ridiculum acri
                                                                                                                                Fortius et melius magnas plerumque secat res.]

                                                                                                                                Horace (65–8 BC) Roman poet, satirist, soldier, politician [Quintus Horatius Flaccus]
                                                                                                                                Satires [Saturae, Sermones], Book 1, # 10 “Nempe incomposito,” l. 14ff (1.10.14-15) (35 BC) [tr. Francis (1747)]

                                                                                                                                More about (and translations of) this quote: wist.info/horace/1955/

                                                                                                                                  muddle 🥣 boosted

                                                                                                                                  [?]Mark A. Rayner » 🌐
                                                                                                                                  @markarayner@mas.to

                                                                                                                                  Weird horse having a casual Sunday rest, looking fabulous.

                                                                                                                                  white borzio dog lying on a colorful flower-patterened coutch

                                                                                                                                  Alt...white borzio dog lying on a colorful flower-patterened coutch

                                                                                                                                    screwlisp boosted

                                                                                                                                    [?]Quasit » 🌐
                                                                                                                                    @Quasit@beige.party

                                                                                                                                    Cold writing take [SENSITIVE CONTENT]

                                                                                                                                    @mdhughes @glitzersachen @screwlisp @Binder

                                                                                                                                    "Cosmic Laughter" (1974) is a collection of some wonderfully funny science fiction short stories. It was once is my fault recommendations a few weeks ago: kolektiva.social/@Quasit/11668

                                                                                                                                    And R. Bretnor wrote a lot of very funny short science fiction too. "The Schimmelhorn File" (1979) is a collection of short stories about a Swiss janitor who is a genius—but only in his subconscious. Fair warning, Papa Schimmelhorn starts out as a dirty old man and just gets worse and worse.

                                                                                                                                    archive.org/details/schimmelho

                                                                                                                                    Another character who's a genius only in his subconscious (and generally wakes up from a bender with mysterious inventions that he doesn't understand) is Henry Kuttner's Galloway Gallagher. Many Gallagher stories were collected in "Robots Have No Tails" (1952).

                                                                                                                                    Gallagher is, I should note, an alcoholic.

                                                                                                                                    archive.org/details/robotshave

                                                                                                                                      [?]Guillotine Jones, Flâneur » 🌐
                                                                                                                                      @Guillotine_Jones@beige.party

                                                                                                                                      One of my firmly held religious beliefs is that since the 20th century, Great Britain has been punching above its weight in comedy.
                                                                                                                                      That's because the people's daily life is so dreadful, and their governments have done such awful things, and still, some of them can make others laugh.
                                                                                                                                      By that criteria, though, the Scots clearly must be world champions.

                                                                                                                                        [?]Tommaso Gagliardoni » 🌐
                                                                                                                                        @tomgag@infosec.exchange

                                                                                                                                        The day quantum computers break the first cryptographic key I'm gonna go full rampage and publicly name and shame all the snarky folks who identify themselves with the "QC/is/bullshit" gender. I am taking notes on my list, mind you. Your name is there as well.

                                                                                                                                        Revenge is best served at 0.02 Kelvin.

                                                                                                                                          [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                                                                                                                                          @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                                                                                                                                          RFK Jnr uses Ivermectin to ‘cure’ green reflecting pool.
                                                                                                                                          Witnesses described Kennedy arriving shortly after dawn with several industrial-sized buckets labelled “Ivermectin” and immediately beginning what officials later described as “an entirely unsanctioned public health intervention”.
                                                                                                                                          “The pool is sick,” Kennedy told reporters while emptying a fifth bucket into the murky water.
                                                                                                                                          newsthump.com/2026/06/17/rfk-j

                                                                                                                                          US Health Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr has been spotted pouring buckets of ivermectin into Washington’s algae-infested Reflecting Pool after becoming convinced the anti-parasitic drug could cure “aquatic greenness”.

                                                                                                                                          Alt...US Health Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr has been spotted pouring buckets of ivermectin into Washington’s algae-infested Reflecting Pool after becoming convinced the anti-parasitic drug could cure “aquatic greenness”.

                                                                                                                                            [?]Global Museum » 🌐
                                                                                                                                            @globalmuseum@mastodon.online

                                                                                                                                            I’’,Jsut Triend Someting Callesd Artefficial Ingellengents And Le’ts Just Say I Will Not Be Using Rengular Ingellengents Ever Agian!! , (By Queen Elizabeth II)

                                                                                                                                            clickhole.com/ijsut-triend-som

                                                                                                                                              [?]Brian Sletten » 🌐
                                                                                                                                              @bsletten@mastodon.social

                                                                                                                                              After all this time looking for it!

                                                                                                                                              A beach by a lake in the mountains. Blue sky, trees, pretty water. In the foreground there are the remnants of a tree trunk on its side. Roots are exposed. There are two prominent branches at 90 degrees that have another 90 degree turn in each direction to meet back up in what appears to be a natural rectanglish shape. The text says, “I finally found it… the square root”.

                                                                                                                                              Alt...A beach by a lake in the mountains. Blue sky, trees, pretty water. In the foreground there are the remnants of a tree trunk on its side. Roots are exposed. There are two prominent branches at 90 degrees that have another 90 degree turn in each direction to meet back up in what appears to be a natural rectanglish shape. The text says, “I finally found it… the square root”.

                                                                                                                                                JulesJones boosted

                                                                                                                                                [?]Mark A. Rayner » 🌐
                                                                                                                                                @markarayner@mas.to

                                                                                                                                                This is the last thing you see before something bad happens.

                                                                                                                                                close up of a swan on a beach

                                                                                                                                                Alt...close up of a swan on a beach

                                                                                                                                                  [?]Woodoo Prod » 🌐
                                                                                                                                                  @WoodooProd@mastodon.cloud

                                                                                                                                                  Can't find something about it, but very humorous

                                                                                                                                                  Can't find something about it, but very humorous A cow abducting an UFO

                                                                                                                                                  Alt...Can't find something about it, but very humorous A cow abducting an UFO

                                                                                                                                                    john fink ok!! :goat: boosted

                                                                                                                                                    [?]Dave Rahardja » 🌐
                                                                                                                                                    @drahardja@sfba.social

                                                                                                                                                    I love this comic. Unfortunately I don’t know who made it!

                                                                                                                                                    There are SO MANY people here in Silicon Valley who I *know* can afford to swap out their Tesla, yet they refuse to sell it and stick these stickers on instead. All of them are complicit.

                                                                                                                                                    A comic of stickers on Tesla cars, in increasingly desperate tones: “Anti Elon Tesla Club”, “No Elon”, “I bought this before Elon went crazy”, “Vintage Tesla Pre-Madness Edition”, “Absolve me”, “ABSOLVE ME”, “TELL ME I’M GOOD”, “TELL ME I’M NOT TO BLAME”

                                                                                                                                                    Alt...A comic of stickers on Tesla cars, in increasingly desperate tones: “Anti Elon Tesla Club”, “No Elon”, “I bought this before Elon went crazy”, “Vintage Tesla Pre-Madness Edition”, “Absolve me”, “ABSOLVE ME”, “TELL ME I’M GOOD”, “TELL ME I’M NOT TO BLAME”

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