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Search results for tag #humor

[?]AnneTheWriter » 🌐
@AnneTheWriter1@universeodon.com

Don't run with bagpipes. You could put an aye out.

Or worse yet, get kilt.

(It's again! Post some jokes or funny memes under this hashtag today, and bring lots of smiles to .)

Sign showing a pictograph of a person inside of a red "warning" triangle. The person's arms are up in the air and the face is surprised. Their kilt is upside-down and revealing everything.

Under the triangle, some box text reads, "Underwear must be worn with kilts when wind speeds exceed 25mph."

Alt...Sign showing a pictograph of a person inside of a red "warning" triangle. The person's arms are up in the air and the face is surprised. Their kilt is upside-down and revealing everything. Under the triangle, some box text reads, "Underwear must be worn with kilts when wind speeds exceed 25mph."

    [?]Brian Sletten » 🌐
    @bsletten@mastodon.social

    After all this time looking for it!

    A beach by a lake in the mountains. Blue sky, trees, pretty water. In the foreground there are the remnants of a tree trunk on its side. Roots are exposed. There are two prominent branches at 90 degrees that have another 90 degree turn in each direction to meet back up in what appears to be a natural rectanglish shape.

The text says, “I finally found it… the square root”.

    Alt...A beach by a lake in the mountains. Blue sky, trees, pretty water. In the foreground there are the remnants of a tree trunk on its side. Roots are exposed. There are two prominent branches at 90 degrees that have another 90 degree turn in each direction to meet back up in what appears to be a natural rectanglish shape. The text says, “I finally found it… the square root”.

      [?]Mago Relax » 🌐
      @magorelax@masto.es

      Esa mirada fija de un gato cuando sabe perfectamente que estuviste acariciando a otro michi en la calle es puro terror psicológico. Te examinan como si fueran detectives privados. ¿A alguien más lo han recibido con esta cara de juicio final? 😹🕵️‍♂️

      Alt text via @altbot y @TeLoDescribot

        oheso boosted

        [?]Grickle » 🌐
        @grickle@mstdn.social

        Liar.

        A cartoon illustration of a sad robot sitting at his desk and computer. Caption reads "It filled him with shame each and every time he clicked "I am not a robot" to access his own bank account online."

        Alt...A cartoon illustration of a sad robot sitting at his desk and computer. Caption reads "It filled him with shame each and every time he clicked "I am not a robot" to access his own bank account online."

          [?]Lightning Duck » 🌐
          @LightningDuck@spoonie.community

          Real struggle is laying in bed wondering if it's worth it to get up and pee.

          Alt...Real struggle is laying in bed wondering if it's worth it to get up and pee.

            oheso boosted

            [?]Grickle » 🌐
            @grickle@mstdn.social

            Annoying Hellfire.

            A cartoon illustration of two irritated people driving a car with an obnoxious Ghost Rider leaning and pointing from the back seat. Caption reads "Back Seat Ghost Rider turned out to be one of Marvel's most annoying heroes."

            Alt...A cartoon illustration of two irritated people driving a car with an obnoxious Ghost Rider leaning and pointing from the back seat. Caption reads "Back Seat Ghost Rider turned out to be one of Marvel's most annoying heroes."

              JulesJones boosted

              [?]Mark A. Rayner » 🌐
              @markarayner@mas.to

              This is the last thing you see before something bad happens.

              close up of a swan on a beach

              Alt...close up of a swan on a beach

                [?]Woodoo Prod » 🌐
                @WoodooProd@mastodon.cloud

                Can't find something about it, but very humorous

                Can't find something about it, but very humorous
A cow abducting an UFO

                Alt...Can't find something about it, but very humorous A cow abducting an UFO

                  Woodoo Prod boosted

                  [?]Solar Phasing » 🌐
                  @solarphasing@mastodon.social

                  [?]Grickle » 🌐
                  @grickle@mstdn.social

                  Spicing it up.

                  A cartoon illustration of a man and his dog holding each on a chair as a cat paints them on an easel. Caption reads "The weekends had got a lot more interesting since the cat had started to paint."

                  Alt...A cartoon illustration of a man and his dog holding each on a chair as a cat paints them on an easel. Caption reads "The weekends had got a lot more interesting since the cat had started to paint."

                    [?]Dave Rahardja » 🌐
                    @drahardja@sfba.social

                    I love this comic. Unfortunately I don’t know who made it!

                    There are SO MANY people here in Silicon Valley who I *know* can afford to swap out their Tesla, yet they refuse to sell it and stick these stickers on instead. All of them are complicit.

                    A comic of stickers on Tesla cars, in increasingly desperate tones:

“Anti Elon Tesla Club”, “No Elon”, “I bought this before Elon went crazy”, “Vintage Tesla Pre-Madness Edition”, “Absolve me”, “ABSOLVE ME”, “TELL ME I’M GOOD”, “TELL ME I’M NOT TO BLAME”

                    Alt...A comic of stickers on Tesla cars, in increasingly desperate tones: “Anti Elon Tesla Club”, “No Elon”, “I bought this before Elon went crazy”, “Vintage Tesla Pre-Madness Edition”, “Absolve me”, “ABSOLVE ME”, “TELL ME I’M GOOD”, “TELL ME I’M NOT TO BLAME”

                      oheso boosted

                      [?]Grickle » 🌐
                      @grickle@mstdn.social

                      Guilty as charged.

                      A cartoon illustration of a lawyer yelling and pointing at a dejected looking dog on the stand while a jury and disgruntled farmer look on. Caption reads "And Bing-o was his name-o, ladies and gentlemen of the court!"

                      Alt...A cartoon illustration of a lawyer yelling and pointing at a dejected looking dog on the stand while a jury and disgruntled farmer look on. Caption reads "And Bing-o was his name-o, ladies and gentlemen of the court!"

                        [?]Tadonic the Flautulent » 🌐
                        @ubuntourist@mastodon.social

                        CARTOON: A woman opening a door marked "EXIT". Next to her, a man, hand to forhead, eyes fluttering, opening a door marked "DRAMATIC EXIT"

                        Alt...CARTOON: A woman opening a door marked "EXIT". Next to her, a man, hand to forhead, eyes fluttering, opening a door marked "DRAMATIC EXIT"

                          2 ★ 1 ↺

                          [?]OCTADE » 🌐
                          @octade@soc.octade.net

                          Impeachment for high crimes and misdemeanours?

                          Maybe it means one must be high on spirits during the crime ...

                          ... or the crimes were committed while high?

                          If Drumpf had a son he would look like Afroman ...

                          ... because he got high.

                          Drumpf + Afroman = High Crimes and Misdemeanours.

                          IMPEACH AFROMAN

                          Mandatory Brawndo dosage is the contraceptive antidote.


                          Tryptich of Afroman wearing an American flag striped suit.

                          Alt...Tryptich of Afroman wearing an American flag striped suit.

                            2 ★ 1 ↺

                            [?]OCTADE » 🌐
                            @octade@soc.octade.net

                            Bytemology of Retronym, OCTADE. Yinzer phonics. Butterfly Perfume.

                            OCTADE or OCTAD is a retro word that means either an octal digit of three bits, or an octal octet or an eight-bit byte. Thus an octade, depending on its historical use, is either 3 bits or 8 bits.

                            OCTADE was used to specify eight bits, as opposed to BYTE which is not necessarily eight bits as the word BYTE could signify any of several numbers of bits.

                            This yields the retro 1337 numbers of 38 and 83. The number 38 is one more than 37 so a bit more elite a bit cooler. Thus it owns cardinally shorter byterz.

                            83 mod 38 equals 7, the highest octal digit. 838 mod 383 equals 72 or 9 times 8 which is 8 squared plus 8.

                            8338 mod 3883 equals 572 which is 72 times 8 minus 4 or 71.5 times 8.

                            8383 mod 3838 equals 707 which is 88 times 8 plus 3.

                            I prefer the old word OCTADE to the word BYTE. OCTADE sports a Euro-peon dignity and gravitas like an Internet serf ready to surf the worknet like pwnd peons. This is very true when pronouncing OCTADE with a thick Pennsyltucky Dutch or Yinzer accent. The Bostonian pronunciation sounds like bad beginner German or muffled mumbling of 'lactate.'

                            OCTADE or OCTAD was also used to describe a poem of eight stanzas.

                            OCTADE was also used to describe a period of eight years, or two leap years.

                            OCTADECANAL is a pheromone found in butterflies. It is butterfly perfume. I would not wear butterfly cologne. But I would sell it. Who would buy and wear my snobby smell? With wordplay we can call it OCTADE CHANNEL No. 8 . All rights reserved, ye French odor snooties.

                            Historical references for use of 'octade' or 'octad':

                            Burroughs B5500 Information Processing Systems REFERENCE MANUAL
                            https://bitsavers.trailing-edge.com/pdf/burroughs/LargeSystems/B5000_5500_5700/1021326_B5500_RefMan_196705.pdf

                            Philips Data Systems Product Range - April 1971
                            https://www.vintage-calculators.nl/Philips%20productoverzicht%201971.pdf

                            Is there another name for octet that means 8 bits?
                            https://www.quora.com/Is-there-another-name-for-octet-that-means-8-bits

                            @wordplay@lemmy.ml @Vocabulary@lemmy.ml

                            --

                            OCTADE | news://alt.flashback | https://soc.octade.net

                              3 ★ 0 ↺

                              [?]OCTADE » 🌐
                              @octade@soc.octade.net

                              A snake is a stomach with fangs (and a spoon-shaped head).

                              Snakes exist just to eat.


                                3 ★ 2 ↺

                                [?]OCTADE » 🌐
                                @octade@soc.octade.net

                                AFROMAN FOR PRESIDENT


                                Tryptich photograph of Afroman wearing a red and white striped suit with blue fields of white stars like the American flag.

                                Alt...Tryptich photograph of Afroman wearing a red and white striped suit with blue fields of white stars like the American flag.

                                  0 ★ 1 ↺

                                  [?]OCTADE » 🌐
                                  @octade@soc.octade.net

                                  In a battle of wits my enemy is a mixed-up martial fartist.

                                  Huff it, fart muffin!